Show me the funny!

[Anarchey]

I guess I will start a thread that anyone can post a good joke they heard or some funny links. I will start out with a joke I heard on the Bob and Tom show.

This magician was working on a cruise ship, and the captain and his parrot would come to every show. Eventually the Parrot figured out the magicians tricks, and he would point them out by saying, "It's up his sleave!" "His assistant has it!" and the like. Well, the boat hit an iceburg, and then sunk. The magician managed to get onto a peice of driftwood, but the parrot was on the other side. And they just stared at each other for days. Floating and staring. Finnaly, on about the fourth day, the parrot said, "Ok, I give up, where is the boat?"

[Moongoddess]

Speaking of funny, does anyone watch the Dave Chappelle show on Comedy Central?

[SilentDeath]

yes and you do realize there os child porn in your sig? j/k

[Moongoddess]

*wonders how he figured me out* lol but anyways yea thats the show. The life of lil jon is funny as hell

[WolfmanNCSU]

Yeah, I DLed a couple of Chappell sketches on my home PC and have the entire Rick James sketch on my work PC here.

[McBizzel]

OOOOH, funny links EH? Well, this is my favorite webtoon, I think it's pretty funny.

http://www.highscoreonline.com

[andrew6826]

http://www.jokes.com/results/index.asp?cat=28

hope that works

[andrew6826]

yay it did

[Anarchey]

www.joked.com go there laugh, eat pie

[TuckerXE]

Originally posted by Anarchey
www.joked.com go there laugh, eat pie

I think I speak for us all when I say if there's pie, we'll be there.

You know what Jack Handey said, after all:
"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy."

[JohnXE]

http://maddox.xmission.com/ That site is so true that it is funny.

[Anarchey]

http://www.realultimatepower.net/

The only purpose of a ninja is to flip out and kill people. (Turn your speakers on!)

[SilentDeath]

Originally posted by Anarchey

This magician was working on a cruise ship, and the captain and his parrot would come to every show. Eventually the Parrot figured out the magicians tricks, and he would point them out by saying, "It's up his sleave!" "His assistant has it!" and the like. Well, the boat hit an iceburg, and then sunk. The magician managed to get onto a peice of driftwood, but the parrot was on the other side. And they just stared at each other for days. Floating and staring. Finnaly, on about the fourth day, the parrot said, "Ok, I give up, where is the boat?"
how is that funny?:confused:

[Anarchey]

The parrot thinks that the magician made the boat dissapear, and was trying to figure it out. I guess we know who not to give sharp things to now.

Now for the funny. This guy is so sad it is funny. http://www.ibiblio.org/jmaynard/TRONcostume/

[Coldflare]

That is entirely too much fat middle aged guy (no offense) but the costume is nice.

[Anarchey]

That is what makes it so sad it is funny.

[SilentDeath]

Originally posted by Anarchey
I guess we know who not to give sharp things to now.


i'd still cut you for fun

[Anarchey]

http://www.anothersite.co.uk/news.php?artc=52

[TuckerXE]

ROTFL - OK, some of those are awful, but some are awesome.

[Anarchey]

This made me laugh pretty hard. http://www.ejbdotcom.net/index.php?do=hockey

[SHNAG]

WTF? All there was, was sound!

[Anarchey]

Interesting. What ISP are you on?

[TuckerXE]

It's probably using the Divx codec, and you haven't downloaded it. That is the most common cause of hearing videos and not being able to see them, especially if it's a .avi movie.

[SHNAG]

It works now. I had to download that little dohicky. Damn that would hert! Haveing your fingers slammed at THAT part of the door.

[TuckerXE]

ROTFL - I just watched the hockey thing.

[Anarchey]

Double Shot
http://www.maillist.com.tw/maillist/file/osaki/20040111034221.html
http://www.bushflash.com/unb.html

[TuckerXE]

LOL - I've actually seen that book. It's pretty funny.

[Anarchey]

The text at the bottom of the screen says Mike Wallely vs. 4 random guys, they just called him a skater fag. http://www.kontraband.com/index.asp?p=movies.asp?ID=744

[Anarchey]

http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/index.asp we need to get bush out as soon as possible!

[TuckerXE]

Haha - I forgot that someone else owned whitehouse.org (ie, not the government). They have some funny stuff there.

[TuckerXE]

OK - time for a big fat double-post :)

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=131487

Bohemian Rhapsody is my all-time favorite song, and I like Megaman... so this is the perfect video for me!

[Anarchey]

For a complete 180 degree spin on things. http://www.citypages.com/databank/23/1142/article10824.asp

[TuckerXE]

Something tells me you all will think this is at least as funny as I thought it was...

http://www.genmay.net/showthread.php?t=341438&page=1&pp=15

[Anarchey]

That was damn funny Tucker, try this one on for size... http://www.ejbdotcom.net/?do=tt#headlines

[Anarchey]

A whole lot of jokes, not all are sutible for children


Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.
"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math, and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The members of the tribe are shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gave birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "Chief, you're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence.. what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about the sheep and I won't say anything more about the baby."

A new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest says, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand."
The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'"
The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than saying, 'Whoa... What happened next?'"

Two blondes are walking down the street when one says to the other "Oh my god, look at that dog with one eye!" The other immediately covers one eye and asks "Where is it?"

The Difference Between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts
Beer Nuts - between a buck and a quarter and a buck and a half.
Deer Nuts - under a buck.

A golfer stood over his tee shot for the longest time, looking up, looking down, figuring the wind direction and speed. This of course was driving his golfing friends crazy. "Hurry up," they shouted, "Hit the darn ball already!"
The meticulous golfer says, "My wife is watching me from the clubhouse, so I want this to be a perfect shot."
"Impossible!" one of the other guys replied. "There's no way you could hit her from here!"

[Anarchey]

TRIPPLE POST, BESAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT DAMNIT! http://www.digitalxpression.co.uk/56k.wmv just... creepy...
http://www.killsometime.com/games/game.asp?Game=MadShark not funny, but fun, and you can't spell funny without breaking a few pies...or something like that